I’m still pondering Suzii Paynter’s explanation for why Southern Baptists can’t institute the same sorts of pro-active protective measures as other faith groups.
Remember? She said “because there are no bishops.”
What’s sad is that I think Paynter actually believes this blasphemous Baptist spin. I think she actually believes that words such as these can somehow excuse the reality of a powerful religious organization that leaves clergy child molesters in their pulpits without warning people in the pews. She says the words like a loyal foot soldier for Baptist power-brokers.
Baptists have a truly amazing capacity for denial when it comes to the consequences of their own acts and beliefs. As long as they can couch it in the rule-based language of “autonomy,” they can even convince themselves that it’s O.K. to leave kids in harm’s way of clergy-predators.
Paynter’s “because there are no bishops” explanation reminded me of something a high-level official from the Baptist General Convention of Texas said to me at last year’s SBC annual meeting. I was trying to tell him about how desperately clergy abuse survivors need a safe place to report abuse -- a place that is outside the church of the pastor-perpetrator.
He said “maybe so” but insisted that, for Baptists to implement such a system “would make us into slaves.” Baptists aren’t subject to bishops, he explained. “What we lose in safety, we gain in freedom.”
Apparently, this seemed like a fair trade-off to him -- the safety of kids for the freedom of a free-wheeling polity that renders clergy unaccountable.
I realized then that we were having parallel conversations. His abstract words about religious slavery seemed meaningless to me as I tried to tell him about the real problems of real people who have been terribly wounded by real Baptist preachers, many of whom still stand in real Baptist pulpits. But from his vantage of religious nobility, it seemed that my talk about real people was equally meaningless to him.
Perhaps this is how it has always been. The religious high-honchos talk high-falutin’ religious talk, but they are blind to the real-world human beings who are hurt by their religiousity.
Baptist leaders toss out rote words - “because there are no bishops” - to displace the emotional immediacy of real people raped and molested by Baptist clergy. Abuse survivors ask for bread, and Baptist leaders give them only the stone of wrong-headed religious talk.
They wall themselves off behind their “no bishops” excuse and use it to proclaim their own powerlessness. Powerlessness to prevent reported Baptist clergy child molesters from abusing others. Powerlessness to warn congregants. Powerlessness to minister to the wounded.
With all their self-proclaimed powerlessness, it seems to me that Southern Baptists are already slaves.
They are slaves to a belief system that says it is better to protect the status-quo than to protect kids. They are slaves to a belief system that says it is better to allow credibly accused clergy child molesters to stay in their pulpits than to do anything about it. They are slaves to a belief system that spews forth religious rhetoric at the cost of kids’ safety.
Southern Baptist leaders have turned “priesthood of the believer” into “priesthood of the unaccountable.”
Friday, May 30, 2008
Monday, May 26, 2008
Memorial Day
On Memorial Day a year ago, I posted the column below about my dad. A few days later, the long-time attorney for the Baptist General Convention of Texas phoned up an attorney friend of mine, suggesting that he might slap a lawsuit against me or drag me up before a State Bar disciplinary review board.
It’s ironic, isn’t it? However baseless his complaint, this guy had the possibility of threatening to haul me before an independent disciplinary board for lawyers. But there doesn’t even exist such a thing as a board for reviewing the conduct of Southern Baptist clergy. And of course, the complaints of clergy abuse survivors are typically far more troubling and of far greater concern to the safety of others than the complaint of a guy who doesn’t like a blog posting.
Lawyers, police, doctors, cosmetologists, other clergy, and people in all sorts of other occupations are subject to review boards. But not Southern Baptist clergy.
Though this guy’s complaint never made much sense, from what I heard, he seemed to think that, since I’m a lawyer myself, I should have realized that he was just giving legal advice and didn’t do anything out of bounds. He also complained that he didn’t know anything about my father’s military service.
So, let me be excessively clear about a few things.
One: I have no reason to think this guy knew my father was a veteran. But though he seemed to think his non-knowledge of my father’s military service was something that mattered, I can’t see how. What I consider contemptible is that he would twist what he did know to try to further shame myself and my family (presumably as another silencing tactic), and meanwhile, no one was doing anything about the child-molesting clergy-perpetrator.
Two: I believe responsibility for the horror and harm in how the Baptist General Convention of Texas mishandles clergy sex abuse reports should rest at the doorstep of BGCT leaders. The attorney works for THEM (and for churches the BGCT refers him to), and presumably he is handling clergy sex abuse reports in the manner that the BGCT wants. (But fyi…for his post-Memorial Day threat, I don’t actually know who he was purporting to represent. Though he made an earlier threat on behalf of the church, it’s possible that, on the post-Memorial Day occasion, he was simply being a jerk all on his own.)
Three: When it comes to how religious leaders handle clergy sex abuse reports, there is a big difference between acting within the bare bounds of the law and acting in a morally responsible manner. The two are not one and the same, and if anyone should realize that, it ought to be leaders of a religious organization. So what if they are within the bounds of the law? Big deal. That does NOT mean they are within the bounds of moral behavior or Christian behavior.
_______
MEMORIAL DAY
My father had chronic post-traumatic stress symptoms from his service in World War II. He was wounded in the liberation of Luzon and survived by playing dead while they bayoneted bodies around him. When night fell, he crawled through the darkness and over bodies and back to allied troops.
As a kid, I didn't understand, and sometimes my father seemed terrifying. As an adult, I know that we were probably like a great many families of those stoic men who never spoke of their ordeals. Families simply coped as best they could with the psychological wounds so many of those men had.
After one particularly bad incident, the police were called to our house. They just talked a bit and then called our pastor, who came to the house and prayed. He said we should think about others in the church and how upsetting it would be if people found out that a good Christian family like ours had such problems. He told us not to talk about it.
A week or two later, the youth and education minister approached me. He said he knew what had happened in my family and that he’d like to talk with me about it. He asked me to come to his office.
I guess the pastor’s “don’t talk about it” message didn’t apply to him. He obviously breached our trust and told the youth and education minister about the trouble in my family. But I didn’t see that hypocrisy at the time. I saw only that the youth and education minister seemed to care about me. In hindsight, I now see that this was when the grooming for abuse really began. He used my family’s difficulties to move in on his prey.....me.
Years later, when I again tried to report that clergy child molester, I mentioned that the abuse began shortly after this incident of family violence. Naively, I thought this information would help to educate church and denominational leaders on how predatory clergy work. Instead, long-time attorney for the Baptist General Convention of Texas, Stephen Wakefield, tried to use that information against me. He wrote back that because I had “suffered from abuse at home” this would have been what caused my distress.
Then he threatened to seek recourse against me if I pursued the reporting of my perpetrator. (Yeah – that’s right – he threatened to sue ME.)
Wakefield brought it up when he spoke with me in person too. In effect, he tried to use my dead father’s mental illness against me to say that I was emotionally damaged anyway, as though no greater harm was done by the sexual abuse of the church’s minister. This attitude offended me beyond all words. And this Memorial Day, I’m still angry about it.
In yesterday’s sermons, I imagine lots of Baptist ministers paid tribute to servicemen and said some nice words. But when it comes to deeds, the reality of what I encountered, both as a kid and as an adult, were Baptist leaders who used my father’s war wound to exploit his family, savage his adolescent daughter, and intimidate her once again as an adult.
Stephen Wakefield isn’t just some rogue attorney. He has been attorney for the largest statewide Southern Baptist organization in the country for over a decade. And this is how he treats those who attempt to report clergy child molestation (even when another minister who knew about the abuse when I was a kid substantiated the report). I think you have to assume that the BGCT approves of his tactics.
My father was a hero, both at war and at home. He worked double and triple shifts his whole life to put Big Chief tablets in his kids’ hands and shoes on their feet. He literally wore his body out trying to provide for his family.
That a know-nothing like Stephen Wakefield would effectively suggest that my father’s psychological war wound was a form of “abuse” in any way akin to the devastating sexual savagery of a Southern Baptist minister is something I will not forget anytime soon. That he would use my family's difficulties to try to minimize the great harm done by a Baptist minister’s sexual abuse is unconscionable.
Over the past couple years, as I have worked at trying to bring the Baptist clergy sex abuse problem to light, I have been kicked countless times by Southern Baptist men. In person, in emails, in letters, on blogs, and even in the Baptist Press, they have said outrageous things, mean things and even hateful things. On a good day, I could probably find it within myself to forgive almost all of it. But for the likes of Stephen Wakefield to effectively degrade my father and try to use his war wound against me is something I don’t know if I will ever be able to forgive.
My father was far from perfect, but he was more honest, hard-working, courageous and decent than any Southern Baptist leader I have yet encountered. I honor the memory of my father in continuing to speak truth about Baptist clergy sex abuse and about the horror in how this denomination handles it.
It’s ironic, isn’t it? However baseless his complaint, this guy had the possibility of threatening to haul me before an independent disciplinary board for lawyers. But there doesn’t even exist such a thing as a board for reviewing the conduct of Southern Baptist clergy. And of course, the complaints of clergy abuse survivors are typically far more troubling and of far greater concern to the safety of others than the complaint of a guy who doesn’t like a blog posting.
Lawyers, police, doctors, cosmetologists, other clergy, and people in all sorts of other occupations are subject to review boards. But not Southern Baptist clergy.
Though this guy’s complaint never made much sense, from what I heard, he seemed to think that, since I’m a lawyer myself, I should have realized that he was just giving legal advice and didn’t do anything out of bounds. He also complained that he didn’t know anything about my father’s military service.
So, let me be excessively clear about a few things.
One: I have no reason to think this guy knew my father was a veteran. But though he seemed to think his non-knowledge of my father’s military service was something that mattered, I can’t see how. What I consider contemptible is that he would twist what he did know to try to further shame myself and my family (presumably as another silencing tactic), and meanwhile, no one was doing anything about the child-molesting clergy-perpetrator.
Two: I believe responsibility for the horror and harm in how the Baptist General Convention of Texas mishandles clergy sex abuse reports should rest at the doorstep of BGCT leaders. The attorney works for THEM (and for churches the BGCT refers him to), and presumably he is handling clergy sex abuse reports in the manner that the BGCT wants. (But fyi…for his post-Memorial Day threat, I don’t actually know who he was purporting to represent. Though he made an earlier threat on behalf of the church, it’s possible that, on the post-Memorial Day occasion, he was simply being a jerk all on his own.)
Three: When it comes to how religious leaders handle clergy sex abuse reports, there is a big difference between acting within the bare bounds of the law and acting in a morally responsible manner. The two are not one and the same, and if anyone should realize that, it ought to be leaders of a religious organization. So what if they are within the bounds of the law? Big deal. That does NOT mean they are within the bounds of moral behavior or Christian behavior.
_______
MEMORIAL DAY
My father had chronic post-traumatic stress symptoms from his service in World War II. He was wounded in the liberation of Luzon and survived by playing dead while they bayoneted bodies around him. When night fell, he crawled through the darkness and over bodies and back to allied troops.
As a kid, I didn't understand, and sometimes my father seemed terrifying. As an adult, I know that we were probably like a great many families of those stoic men who never spoke of their ordeals. Families simply coped as best they could with the psychological wounds so many of those men had.
After one particularly bad incident, the police were called to our house. They just talked a bit and then called our pastor, who came to the house and prayed. He said we should think about others in the church and how upsetting it would be if people found out that a good Christian family like ours had such problems. He told us not to talk about it.
A week or two later, the youth and education minister approached me. He said he knew what had happened in my family and that he’d like to talk with me about it. He asked me to come to his office.
I guess the pastor’s “don’t talk about it” message didn’t apply to him. He obviously breached our trust and told the youth and education minister about the trouble in my family. But I didn’t see that hypocrisy at the time. I saw only that the youth and education minister seemed to care about me. In hindsight, I now see that this was when the grooming for abuse really began. He used my family’s difficulties to move in on his prey.....me.
Years later, when I again tried to report that clergy child molester, I mentioned that the abuse began shortly after this incident of family violence. Naively, I thought this information would help to educate church and denominational leaders on how predatory clergy work. Instead, long-time attorney for the Baptist General Convention of Texas, Stephen Wakefield, tried to use that information against me. He wrote back that because I had “suffered from abuse at home” this would have been what caused my distress.
Then he threatened to seek recourse against me if I pursued the reporting of my perpetrator. (Yeah – that’s right – he threatened to sue ME.)
Wakefield brought it up when he spoke with me in person too. In effect, he tried to use my dead father’s mental illness against me to say that I was emotionally damaged anyway, as though no greater harm was done by the sexual abuse of the church’s minister. This attitude offended me beyond all words. And this Memorial Day, I’m still angry about it.
In yesterday’s sermons, I imagine lots of Baptist ministers paid tribute to servicemen and said some nice words. But when it comes to deeds, the reality of what I encountered, both as a kid and as an adult, were Baptist leaders who used my father’s war wound to exploit his family, savage his adolescent daughter, and intimidate her once again as an adult.
Stephen Wakefield isn’t just some rogue attorney. He has been attorney for the largest statewide Southern Baptist organization in the country for over a decade. And this is how he treats those who attempt to report clergy child molestation (even when another minister who knew about the abuse when I was a kid substantiated the report). I think you have to assume that the BGCT approves of his tactics.
My father was a hero, both at war and at home. He worked double and triple shifts his whole life to put Big Chief tablets in his kids’ hands and shoes on their feet. He literally wore his body out trying to provide for his family.
That a know-nothing like Stephen Wakefield would effectively suggest that my father’s psychological war wound was a form of “abuse” in any way akin to the devastating sexual savagery of a Southern Baptist minister is something I will not forget anytime soon. That he would use my family's difficulties to try to minimize the great harm done by a Baptist minister’s sexual abuse is unconscionable.
Over the past couple years, as I have worked at trying to bring the Baptist clergy sex abuse problem to light, I have been kicked countless times by Southern Baptist men. In person, in emails, in letters, on blogs, and even in the Baptist Press, they have said outrageous things, mean things and even hateful things. On a good day, I could probably find it within myself to forgive almost all of it. But for the likes of Stephen Wakefield to effectively degrade my father and try to use his war wound against me is something I don’t know if I will ever be able to forgive.
My father was far from perfect, but he was more honest, hard-working, courageous and decent than any Southern Baptist leader I have yet encountered. I honor the memory of my father in continuing to speak truth about Baptist clergy sex abuse and about the horror in how this denomination handles it.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Gracepoint Baptist wants "fresh start"
Walnut Grove Baptist Church has changed its name to Gracepoint Baptist Church.Why? Because they want “a fresh start.” They’re hoping a new name will help them move on from the ugliness of their recent past.
This is the Memphis church where accused child molester Steven Haney was pastor for 20 years.
This is the church that kept Haney as its pastor even after allegations that he sexually abused a teen in the mid-1990s. Reportedly, 30 families left the church at that time. But Haney stayed the church’s pastor… with the result that at least one more kid has been hurt and probably more.
Just last fall, Haney was charged with the sexual assault of another teen. He has also been recently indicted on federal charges of child pornography.
According to the now-grown young man who testified against Haney, this church’s former pastor called the sexual abuse a “test of faith.”
One of the women who left Walnut Grove after the mid-90s allegations said “thank God” when she learned that Haney had finally been brought up on criminal charges. She also stated her belief that the young men bringing forward accounts of abuse “have gone through hell.”
So why the new name for this church that harbored a man like Haney as its pastor? Is it just a whitewash of the past? Or did the church really work at reconciliation of the past?
How much effort have they made to extend help and healing for the victims of Haney?
How much effort have they made to reach out to other possible victims of Haney?
Perpetrators almost always have multiple victims, and so there could be still more victims who remain mired in quiet shame and self-blame.
What’s particularly sad in this case is that more recent victims might have been spared if only the church had treated more seriously the accusations against Haney a decade ago.
Given the church’s dreadful failure, it should now do everything within its power to reach out to other possible victims and to help them.
A new name may be nice for the congregants. But what about the victims? The church’s new name won’t give them a fresh start.
What would be nicer would be for the church to extend a strong hand of healing for those who were so horribly wounded behind its doors.
And what would be still nicer would be for this church to use the example of its own failure as a reason to work for change within the Southern Baptist denomination so that other kids might be better protected.
Gracepoint’s desire for “a fresh start” is similar to Prestonwood’s desire to put it in “the rearview mirror.” But before they simply move on, churches need to learn and impart lessons so that others can be safer.
Unless Gracepoint takes pro-active measures to deal with its past, learn from its past, and reconcile its past, I can’t help but wonder if the new name is just one more way of sweeping the ugliness of clergy child molestation under the rug.
This name-changing incident also illustrates still another reason for why clergy abuse among Southern Baptists is so much harder to get a handle on than it is with Catholics.
Imagine that another Haney victim may have moved away from Memphis and decided to never look back – a not-unusual response for a person so utterly betrayed by his faith community. Many years later, he decides to try to report the abuse that was done to him in that church.
But where’s the church?
Unlike Catholic dioceses, which typically endure for generations, autonomous churches can readily rename themselves and restructure. It makes it all the easier for them to avoid accountability.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Prestonwood hit by sex sting arrest
No church is immune from the scourge of clergy sex abuse.
A minister at Prestonwood Baptist Church in Dallas has been charged with online solicitation of sex from a kid.
This is one of the largest Southern Baptist churches in the nation. It’s the church pastored by former Southern Baptist president Jack Graham.
It’s a church with a highly-affluent and highly-educated congregation. It’s a church with ample resources.
The arrested minister, Joe Barron, was previously the pastor at Northrich Baptist Church in Richardson, Texas, and before that, he was at the First Baptist Church of Lewisville, Texas.
Barron had two weeks’ worth of sexually explicit conversations with a person he believed to be a 13-year old girl. She turned out to be a police officer.
According to police, Barron was arrested when he drove three hours to meet with his intended child-victim. He had a box of 10 condoms in his car, along with a web-camera and headset that police believe he was going to give to the girl.
Police are now investigating whether Barron may have previously engaged in sexual contact with minors.
Meanwhile, pastor Jack Graham told church members, “We want to put this in our rearview mirror.”
Sad, isn’t it? Rather than focusing on the perceived need of his church to move on, Graham should instead be focusing on the needs of children who may have been hurt.
Instead of talking about putting it in the “rearview mirror,” Graham could do a lot more good if he would use his powerful voice to reach out to other possible victims and to urge anyone with any information to bring it forward to police.
Instead of putting it in the “rearview mirror,” Graham himself should seek to learn from this tragedy. If Graham would begin to understand how easily a child predator can infiltrate a church’s ministerial staff, then perhaps he could also use his powerful voice to urge change within the denomination so that ALL Southern Baptist kids might be made safer.
But I doubt that’s going to happen.
The tendency to hastily put clergy sex abuse in the “rearview mirror” is deeply entrenched in this denomination.
Religion writer Terry Mattingly picked up on the Prestonwood story and pointed to it as providing a clue to the scope of the larger story about clergy sex abuse among Southern Baptists and about why it is so difficult to bring much-needed attention to the Southern Baptist abuse story.
“This is an important – although frustrating – story worthy of more coverage,” he says.
Mattingly should know. Five years ago, Mattingly was one of the first journalists to write about the difficulty that Southern Baptists have in cracking down on clergy sex abuse. Mattingly recognized how unrealistic it was to think that a Southern Baptist church could investigate and discipline its own pastor, and he also saw the easy shield that the “free-wheeling and autonomous” polity provided to Baptist leaders.
“Where does the buck stop?” he asked. For Southern Baptists, the buck seems to stop nowhere.
A minister at Prestonwood Baptist Church in Dallas has been charged with online solicitation of sex from a kid.
This is one of the largest Southern Baptist churches in the nation. It’s the church pastored by former Southern Baptist president Jack Graham.
It’s a church with a highly-affluent and highly-educated congregation. It’s a church with ample resources.
The arrested minister, Joe Barron, was previously the pastor at Northrich Baptist Church in Richardson, Texas, and before that, he was at the First Baptist Church of Lewisville, Texas.
Barron had two weeks’ worth of sexually explicit conversations with a person he believed to be a 13-year old girl. She turned out to be a police officer.
According to police, Barron was arrested when he drove three hours to meet with his intended child-victim. He had a box of 10 condoms in his car, along with a web-camera and headset that police believe he was going to give to the girl.
Police are now investigating whether Barron may have previously engaged in sexual contact with minors.
Meanwhile, pastor Jack Graham told church members, “We want to put this in our rearview mirror.”
Sad, isn’t it? Rather than focusing on the perceived need of his church to move on, Graham should instead be focusing on the needs of children who may have been hurt.
Instead of talking about putting it in the “rearview mirror,” Graham could do a lot more good if he would use his powerful voice to reach out to other possible victims and to urge anyone with any information to bring it forward to police.
Instead of putting it in the “rearview mirror,” Graham himself should seek to learn from this tragedy. If Graham would begin to understand how easily a child predator can infiltrate a church’s ministerial staff, then perhaps he could also use his powerful voice to urge change within the denomination so that ALL Southern Baptist kids might be made safer.
But I doubt that’s going to happen.
The tendency to hastily put clergy sex abuse in the “rearview mirror” is deeply entrenched in this denomination.
Religion writer Terry Mattingly picked up on the Prestonwood story and pointed to it as providing a clue to the scope of the larger story about clergy sex abuse among Southern Baptists and about why it is so difficult to bring much-needed attention to the Southern Baptist abuse story.
“This is an important – although frustrating – story worthy of more coverage,” he says.
Mattingly should know. Five years ago, Mattingly was one of the first journalists to write about the difficulty that Southern Baptists have in cracking down on clergy sex abuse. Mattingly recognized how unrealistic it was to think that a Southern Baptist church could investigate and discipline its own pastor, and he also saw the easy shield that the “free-wheeling and autonomous” polity provided to Baptist leaders.
“Where does the buck stop?” he asked. For Southern Baptists, the buck seems to stop nowhere.
Saturday, May 3, 2008
No bishops is no excuse
"Because there are no bishops...."
That´s what you hear Suzii Paynter saying in this news video.
Paynter, of the Baptist General Convention of Texas, is apparently explaining why Baptists CAN´T institute the same sorts of preventive measures as other faith groups to protect kids against clergy sex abuse.
It´s the standard "can´t - won´t - won´t even try" response that Baptist leaders make when confronted with clergy child molestation.
How much longer will Baptist leaders keep telling us why they CAN´T?
When will Baptist leaders start telling us how they WILL?
Maybe someone should give Paynter a copy of "The Little Engine That Could." Remember? "I think I can - I think I can - I think I can...." And over the hill the little engine went.
If Baptist leaders would stop clicking replay on their rote "we can´t" excuse and instead start thinking "we can", then maybe they would find a way.
Until then, their standard "because there are no bishops excuse" is self-defeating. It assures that they WON´T institute effective measures to address Baptist clergy sex abuse.
This means that kids in Baptist churches won´t receive the same sorts of protections as kids in Catholic, Episcopal, Presbyterian, Lutheran and Methodist churches.
Why?
"Because there are no bishops."
It´s their standard line, but Baptist leaders are making a dreadful mistake when they keep saying it. "Because there are no bishops" can never be a good enough excuse for failing to protect kids against credibly accused clergy child molesters.
That´s what you hear Suzii Paynter saying in this news video.
Paynter, of the Baptist General Convention of Texas, is apparently explaining why Baptists CAN´T institute the same sorts of preventive measures as other faith groups to protect kids against clergy sex abuse.
It´s the standard "can´t - won´t - won´t even try" response that Baptist leaders make when confronted with clergy child molestation.
How much longer will Baptist leaders keep telling us why they CAN´T?
When will Baptist leaders start telling us how they WILL?
Maybe someone should give Paynter a copy of "The Little Engine That Could." Remember? "I think I can - I think I can - I think I can...." And over the hill the little engine went.
If Baptist leaders would stop clicking replay on their rote "we can´t" excuse and instead start thinking "we can", then maybe they would find a way.
Until then, their standard "because there are no bishops excuse" is self-defeating. It assures that they WON´T institute effective measures to address Baptist clergy sex abuse.
This means that kids in Baptist churches won´t receive the same sorts of protections as kids in Catholic, Episcopal, Presbyterian, Lutheran and Methodist churches.
Why?
"Because there are no bishops."
It´s their standard line, but Baptist leaders are making a dreadful mistake when they keep saying it. "Because there are no bishops" can never be a good enough excuse for failing to protect kids against credibly accused clergy child molesters.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Two Rivers in the dumpster
This Sunday May 4th, Two Rivers Baptist Church will vote on whether to follow pastor Jerry Sutton’s lead and purge itself of the 71 members who sued the church for access to financial records. (Be sure to look at the photo so you’ll know what rabble-rousers and renegades actually look like.)
Two Rivers is the home church for many of the people who work at Southern Baptist headquarters in Nashville. This means that Jerry Sutton is the pastor to people who do the day-to-day decision-making of the Southern Baptist Convention.
Spend a little time on the TwoRiversInfo.org site and you’ll get some idea of why this is a “denomination in decline” and why it is so rife with problems.
Here’s what those 71 church-members wanted: Accountability and transparency. Imagine that.
Last week, pastor Sutton sent out a letter to the flock, urging that the behavior of these 71 truth-seekers was “not consistent with the Word of God” and that they must apologize for their actions in order to remain in the fold.
This is the sort of example set by the pastor who shepherds the decision-makers of this denomination. See the problem?
Back when all this got started, Two Rivers’ executive pastor Scott Hutchings responded by accusing these people of “causing division” within the church body.
“There has to be submission and authority,” he insisted.
So the battle lines were drawn: Submission & authority vs. Accountability & transparency.
I know which side I’m pulling for.
The same battle lines are at the root of the Southern Baptist clergy sex abuse scandal. And I’ve seen up-close what the lack of accountability and transparency does in that arena. It’s pretty ugly.
Meanwhile, back at Two Rivers, the renegades aren’t apologizing. They’re busy sifting through thousands of financial records that were recently found in a dumpster behind the church. The renegades believe they’re records that church leaders never wanted the members to see.
“Denomination in decline”? Maybe it’s already in the dumpster.
Two Rivers is the home church for many of the people who work at Southern Baptist headquarters in Nashville. This means that Jerry Sutton is the pastor to people who do the day-to-day decision-making of the Southern Baptist Convention.
Spend a little time on the TwoRiversInfo.org site and you’ll get some idea of why this is a “denomination in decline” and why it is so rife with problems.
Here’s what those 71 church-members wanted: Accountability and transparency. Imagine that.
Last week, pastor Sutton sent out a letter to the flock, urging that the behavior of these 71 truth-seekers was “not consistent with the Word of God” and that they must apologize for their actions in order to remain in the fold.
This is the sort of example set by the pastor who shepherds the decision-makers of this denomination. See the problem?
Back when all this got started, Two Rivers’ executive pastor Scott Hutchings responded by accusing these people of “causing division” within the church body.
“There has to be submission and authority,” he insisted.
So the battle lines were drawn: Submission & authority vs. Accountability & transparency.
I know which side I’m pulling for.
The same battle lines are at the root of the Southern Baptist clergy sex abuse scandal. And I’ve seen up-close what the lack of accountability and transparency does in that arena. It’s pretty ugly.
Meanwhile, back at Two Rivers, the renegades aren’t apologizing. They’re busy sifting through thousands of financial records that were recently found in a dumpster behind the church. The renegades believe they’re records that church leaders never wanted the members to see.
“Denomination in decline”? Maybe it’s already in the dumpster.
___________________
Update: The vote was reported as 663 to 337 in favor of ousting them, but that was 4 votes short of the two-thirds majority needed under the church's by-laws. So the renegades were NOT ousted.
.
Additional update: Two Rivers re-voted on May 11 and ousted the "renegades." In essence, the church decided not to count the votes of the "renegade" members themselves, and by excluding their votes, the balance was tipped in favor of ousting them. Read the Nashville Scene's scathing parody: "Two Rivers Baptist to advise Zimbabwe regime."
Monday, April 28, 2008
Love thy neighbor
When asked about the problem of clergy sex abuse and church cover-ups, one of the religious leaders who was a lawyer said, “Our polity requires that we protect the autonomy of the local church. This has been our law for generations, and the Bible commands us to preserve it.”
But Jesus said: “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it. Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law.” (Matthew 22: 37-40)
You notice, of course, that Jesus didn’t say to merely “love the people in your own autonomous church.” He said “love thy neighbor.”
And Jesus didn’t build in any exclusions to that commandment. For example, He didn’t say that you should love the children in your own autonomous church but not worry about the children in the church of another town. He said “love thy neighbor.”
And He didn’t say that religious leaders outside the local church are exempted from the commandment’s obligation because each autonomous church looks after its own. He said “love thy neighbor.”
And He didn’t say that clergy abuse survivors are excluded from the category of "neighbors" because they bring such deeply troubling news that no one wants to hear it. He said “love thy neighbor.”
So how loving is it when Baptist leaders respond to reports of clergy sex abuse by washing their hands of the problem and saying “it’s a local church matter”?
How loving is it when they do that even while knowing that the result of their hand-washing will mean that child molesting ministers may more readily move on to molest again?
How loving is it when Baptist leaders insist that any review of clergy sex abuse allegations should be done by criminal authorities in the secular world rather than by any denominational review board? How loving is it when they say this, even while knowing that most child molestation cases cannot be criminally prosecuted and that their refusal to intervene will likely mean that credibly reported clergy-predators may move on to molest again?
And how loving is it when Baptist leaders persist in saying that each autonomous church should handle a clergy abuse problem on its own, despite the difficulty of the problem and the dire risk of additional wounds inflicted by poor handling? How loving is it when they say this, even while knowing that most churches cannot properly handle a clergy abuse report on their own for the simple reason that they lack the objectivity to assess allegations against their own beloved pastor?
Where is there anything in this great commandment to “love thy neighbor” that excuses people who proclaim the autonomy of local churches from the moral obligation to protect children in other churches?
How can it possibly show “love” when religious leaders use the legalism of autonomy to turn a blind-eye to the molestation and rape of church kids by clergy?
And when did Southern Baptist leaders develop such a knee-jerk version of autonomy that they couldn’t even imagine the possibility that a clergy abuse review board might be instituted in a manner consistent with autonomous principles? When did they become so focused on their own self-serving, radicalized version of autonomy that they failed to notice that some other Baptist groups, who also have autonomous churches, are already implementing denominational review board processes for clergy abuse?
When did the Baptist doctrine of church autonomy get so degraded that it functionally serves as a shield for allowing clergy child molesters to persist in their pulpits with impunity?
When did “autonomy” become a catch-word with such over-bearing importance that it replaced the great commandment to “love thy neighbor”?
_____________________
[Some of the thought behind this posting was inspired in part by Jeri Massi’s new book, “Schizophrenic Christianity.” Thanks, Jeri.].
But Jesus said: “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it. Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law.” (Matthew 22: 37-40)
You notice, of course, that Jesus didn’t say to merely “love the people in your own autonomous church.” He said “love thy neighbor.”
And Jesus didn’t build in any exclusions to that commandment. For example, He didn’t say that you should love the children in your own autonomous church but not worry about the children in the church of another town. He said “love thy neighbor.”
And He didn’t say that religious leaders outside the local church are exempted from the commandment’s obligation because each autonomous church looks after its own. He said “love thy neighbor.”
And He didn’t say that clergy abuse survivors are excluded from the category of "neighbors" because they bring such deeply troubling news that no one wants to hear it. He said “love thy neighbor.”
So how loving is it when Baptist leaders respond to reports of clergy sex abuse by washing their hands of the problem and saying “it’s a local church matter”?
How loving is it when they do that even while knowing that the result of their hand-washing will mean that child molesting ministers may more readily move on to molest again?
How loving is it when Baptist leaders insist that any review of clergy sex abuse allegations should be done by criminal authorities in the secular world rather than by any denominational review board? How loving is it when they say this, even while knowing that most child molestation cases cannot be criminally prosecuted and that their refusal to intervene will likely mean that credibly reported clergy-predators may move on to molest again?
And how loving is it when Baptist leaders persist in saying that each autonomous church should handle a clergy abuse problem on its own, despite the difficulty of the problem and the dire risk of additional wounds inflicted by poor handling? How loving is it when they say this, even while knowing that most churches cannot properly handle a clergy abuse report on their own for the simple reason that they lack the objectivity to assess allegations against their own beloved pastor?
Where is there anything in this great commandment to “love thy neighbor” that excuses people who proclaim the autonomy of local churches from the moral obligation to protect children in other churches?
How can it possibly show “love” when religious leaders use the legalism of autonomy to turn a blind-eye to the molestation and rape of church kids by clergy?
And when did Southern Baptist leaders develop such a knee-jerk version of autonomy that they couldn’t even imagine the possibility that a clergy abuse review board might be instituted in a manner consistent with autonomous principles? When did they become so focused on their own self-serving, radicalized version of autonomy that they failed to notice that some other Baptist groups, who also have autonomous churches, are already implementing denominational review board processes for clergy abuse?
When did the Baptist doctrine of church autonomy get so degraded that it functionally serves as a shield for allowing clergy child molesters to persist in their pulpits with impunity?
When did “autonomy” become a catch-word with such over-bearing importance that it replaced the great commandment to “love thy neighbor”?
_____________________
[Some of the thought behind this posting was inspired in part by Jeri Massi’s new book, “Schizophrenic Christianity.” Thanks, Jeri.].
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
The Bad Shepherd
Today’s Nashville Scene carries the story of Shayna Werley’s lawsuit against the Southern Baptist Convention.Werley alleges that she was sexually abused by pastor Jeremy Benack at the First Baptist Church of Lansford, Pennsylvania. When her parents found out, they say they contacted the Southern Baptist Convention to lodge a complaint. (Seems like the rational thing to do, right?)
But the subtitle of the article sums up what happened: “An alleged victim of sex abuse turns to Nashville’s Southern Baptist Convention for help but finds herself facing Goliath instead.”
Werley’s parents contend that the SBC “had a hand in creating a farcical treatment plan for their daughter – one that forbade her from being alone with men and that seemed to have been designed to shame and punish Werley while Benack faced few, if any, ramifications.”
In fact, according to court documents, “Rev. Benack continues to serve as pastor of the First Baptist Church of Lansford and continues to counsel and spend time with young members of the congregation.”
When contacted about the case, SBC legal counsel Jim Guenther reportedly said, “The law does not hold persons liable for things they had nothing to do with.”
Here’s how that translates for lay-people: “Not our problem”
Guenther also said this: “If we knew anything about it, we could not have provided any relief or prevention.”
Got that? When it comes to clergy sex abuse, the SBC can’t, won’t, and won’t even try.
The Southern Baptist Convention claims that, even if it knows about an abusive pastor, it CANNOT do a darn thing.
Do you believe that? I don’t. This is a powerful organization with a lot of resources at its disposal. If its leaders wanted to provide “relief or prevention,” they could find a way.
But apparently the SBC doesn’t want to. So, what Guenther’s words say to clergy abuse victims is this: “The Southern Baptist Convention doesn’t give a hoot.”
Guenther’s remarks are revealing of the true attitude of this organization’s leaders. And since Guenther has been the SBC’s lawyer for a great many years, he knows of what he speaks.
But here’s what I really want to know. Follow me now….
Guenther told the Nashville Scene reporter that “he determined” that a call from the Werley family “never came in to Nashville headquarters.” A month ago, Guenther made a similar statement to a reporter for The Morning Call when he told him that the SBC “never received a call from the Werley family or heard anything about the allegations against Benack.”
How would Guenther know? How did Guenther make his determination that a call from the Werley family “never came in”?
Keep in mind that Guenther doesn’t even work in the Southern Baptist Convention building. He has an office a couple miles away at his Nashville law firm.
So who did he check with at the SBC headquarters building to determine that the Werley family had “never” called?
What record, file, log-book, or data did he look at?
Here’s my point. For Guenther to even make such a statement suggests that there is someone in the SBC building who logs calls or keeps records related to allegations of clergy sex abuse. Otherwise, how would Guenther know one way or the other?
For Guenther to say that the Werleys “never” called suggests that Guenther must have at least looked at a call-log to see the absence of a call from the Werley family.
If no one at the SBC is keeping any records on reports about clergy sex abuse, what possible basis would Guenther have for saying “yea” or “nay” about whether the Werley family contacted the SBC?
If no one at the SBC is keeping any records on reports about clergy sex abuse, then Guenther should have simply said, “I don’t know whether the SBC ever received a call from the Werley family because the SBC doesn’t keep any records on clergy sex abuse reports.”
But Guenther didn’t say that. He said the SBC had “never” received a call from the Werley family. And he said it twice.
So here’s what I think.
I think the SBC already does keep records on clergy sex abuse. I think the SBC keeps some sort of shabby secret file, and Guenther knew about it.
And I think the SBC does diddly-squat with the information in that secret file, and it chooses instead to leave kids and congregants at risk of reported clergy-predators.
What do you think?
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
How it hurts
In June 2002, clinical psychologist Mary Gail Frawley-O’Dea was invited to speak before the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops as they considered how to address the problem of clergy sex abuse. These are her words as she attempted to provide them with some understanding of the experience of sexual trauma through the lens of the victim.
“Sexual abuse victims often are young people for whom something or someone is missing. They yearn for an adult who sees them, hears them, understands them, makes time for them, and enjoys their company. Unfortunately, the sexual predator is exquisitely attuned to the emotional and relational needs of the potential victims…. Sexual abusers ingratiate themselves into the lives of their victims, evoking respect, trust and dependency long before the first touch takes place. The confused child or adolescent is frequently so emotionally entwined with his victimizer… that he readily and silently complies with the sexual activities imposed upon him.
There are those who devalue survivors of childhood and, especially adolescent sexual abuse for not disclosing their victimizations when they were occurring. Secrecy, however, is the acknowledged cornerstone of sexual abuse… Sexual abusers may also blame the victim, accusing her of seducing the predator, thus filling the victim with the shame and self-loathing more appropriately experienced by the victimizer. In a more covert covenant of secrecy, the abuser provides the victim with gifts and special privileges that both silence and instill terrible and long-lasting guilt.
In addition many abused minors maintain silence because they accurately perceive that there is no one in their environment who will help them if they disclose…. Finally, children and teenagers do not disclose the sexual abuse secret because they care for the perpetrator. A central cruelty of sexual abuse, in fact, is the perpetrator's trampling of the young person's generously and freely bestowed affection or respect.
It is from this epicenter of betrayed trust that the mind splitting impact of sexual abuse ripples outward…. It is simply too much and the resulting fracture of the victim's mind and experience often leads to a debilitating post-traumatic stress disorder that affects every domain of the victim's functioning and lasts for years and years after the abuse has stopped.
Let me now guide you on a tour through the corridors of a psyche twisted by sexual transgression. It is a trip through a traumatogenically constructed, psychological House of Horrors in which experiences of self and other are grotesquely distorted and terrifying images unexpectedly pop out from seemingly safe places. The visitor lurches from one emotional shock to another in an interior atmosphere of darkness….
When a young person is being abused, the psychological shock is so great that the normal self cannot absorb or make sense of what is happening to it. In a valiant attempt to cope with the overwhelming overstimulation and sense of betrayal literally embodied in sexual trauma, the self splits using the psychic mechanism of dissociation. The normal operation of dissociation allows, for example, each of us to drive ten miles and then "come to" with no memory of the time just past. For the victim of child or adolescent sexual violation, however, dissociation is an exponentially more dramatic process, one that serves as both a blessing and a curse.
On the one hand, by entering into an entirely different state of consciousness while being abused, the victim preserves a functional and safe self who is removed from the trauma and is therefore able to learn, grow, play, and work…. On the other hand, the curse of dissociation condemns the state of self who experienced the abuse to a trapped existence in the inner world of the survivor, a place dominated by terror, impotent but seething rage, and grief for which there literally are no words.
Because trauma impels the brain to process events quickly and in a state of hyperarousal, verbalizing pathways are bypassed. Instead, the sexual violations are encoded by the child and retrieved by the survivor as non-verbal, often highly disorganizing feelings, somatic states, anxieties, recurring nightmares, flashbacks, and sometimes dangerous behaviors.
Often, the adult survivor's life is wracked by unexpected regressions to his victimized self that are triggered by seemingly neutral stimuli. Much as the Vietnam Vet who hits the floor during a thunderstorm… so too the sexual abuse survivor may be triggered into a regression by something or someone reminiscent of his earlier traumas. No longer firmly located in the present, the survivor thinks, feels, experiences his body, and behaves as the victim he once was, badly confusing himself and those around him....
Coexisting with the violated, terrorized, grief stricken victim self, the adult survivor of sexual abuse has within her a state of being that is identified with the perpetrator. Through this unconscious ongoing bond to the predator, the survivor preserves an attachment to the abuser….
There comes a day in every survivor's recovery upon which he fully comprehends what was so cruelly taken from him. Further personal growth and healing requires that the survivor then mourn the childhood or adolescence that never was, the defensively idealized caretakers who never existed, and perhaps most poignantly, the self that could have been had trust, hope, and possibility not been so brutally shattered.
I cannot exaggerate nor can I adequately convey the soul searing pain of this phase of recovery….
Quite understandably, the sexual abuse survivor may act to avoid the ultimate mourning necessary to move on from the abuse and all that was stolen from him. Launching a lawsuit against the perpetrator or against those who abetted the abuser may be one strategy employed to deny unrecoverable loss, while instead pursuing an illusion of full restitution of that which, tragically, never can be restored. No matter the amount of the ensuing financial settlement, a residue of emptiness and lost hope persists. At the core of the survivor's being, the worst has happened yet again; he has been paid off to go away while life goes on relatively untouched for the perpetrator and those who shielded him.
Now let me be absolutely clear. Money can be a little better than nothing…. Many survivors, in fact, resort to lawsuits only after being stonewalled in their quest for more personal reparative gestures. Legal action, in this situation, represents a last ditch effort by the survivor to become an agent in his own life. Further, a lawsuit, when all else has failed, puts into action an understandable demand that the truth be told one way or another. In addition, many survivors need financial assistance for therapy, substance abuse rehabilitation, and educational or vocational training previously unattainable because of post-traumatic stress symptoms plaguing the victims. But money is not nearly enough, no matter how much it is….
Leaving the realm of sexual abuse survivor's organization of self, we enter a related corridor on our tour, one in which we explore typical characteristics of the victim's interpersonal relationships.
A survivor's relationships with other people are hued and shaded by expectations and anxieties forged during their traumatic experiences. Approaching others from within the psychological confines of post-traumatic stress disorder, the trauma survivor exhibits rapidly shifting relational stances, painfully lurching from periods of extremely dependent clinging, to those marked by vicious rage aimed at the same person. Stark terror and tears can switch in an instant to cold aloofness, while warmth and vivacity may turn kaleidoscopically to paranoid suspicion. All this, of course, leads to many chaotically unstable relationships, often alternating with stretches of the loneliest isolation.
Perhaps needless to say, normal sexual functioning is almost impossible for most survivors until well into their recovery. Too often, sex, even with a trusted other, triggers terrifyingly disorganizing flashbacks during which survivors sometimes literally see the face of their abuser superimposed on the visage of their sexual partner and experience dreadful relivings of their sexual traumas. In addition, survivors frequently are disgusted by and ashamed of their own bodies and sexual strivings. Unreasonably blaming the abuse on their own sexuality, they often desperately insist that it never would have happened were it not for their self-perceived horribly seductive bodies and deplorable sexual desires…. Sexual abuse survivors of all genders and sexual orientations are deprived of the right to grow gradually into a mature sexuality and, instead, are forced or seduced into premature sexual encounters they are emotionally ill-equipped to handle. As adults, therefore, these men and women often spin between periods of promiscuous and self-destructive sexual acting out and times of complete sexual shutdown during which, like burn victims, they experience the gentlest physical contact as excruciatingly painful.
Finally, there is a characteristic relational stance assumed by many sexual abuse survivors that is particularly germane to these proceedings. It involves others who did not abuse them but also did not protect them.
If it takes a community to raise a child, it also takes a community to abuse one so that whenever a minor is sexually violated, someone's eyes are closed. Throughout history and in every segment of society, the most common response to the suspicion or even the disclosure of childhood sexual abuse has been self-defensive denial and dissociation. No one finds it easy to stand in the overwhelming and destabilizing reality of sexual abuse. Thus, blindness, deafness, and elective mutism are responses endemic to many confronted by a victimized child, an adult survivor, or a perpetrating adult. To the extent, however, that the sexual victimization of a minor depends upon the silence of adults who knew, suspected, or should have known about the abuse, the burdens of shame and reparation reach beyond the perpetrator…. Zero tolerance must include the silent as well as the predatory.
What is important to recognize…is that adult survivors of sexual abuse frequently are, at least initially, even angrier with adults who failed to protect them than they are with the perpetrator himself….
Now turning down another corridor on our tour of a psyche ravaged by early sexual trauma, we examine the impact of sexual abuse on the cognitive functioning of the victim and survivor. Part of what is overwhelmed during sexual abuse is the young person's ability cognitively to contain, process, and put into words the enormity of the relational betrayal and physical impingement with which he is faced. It is striking and often bewildering to observe in adult survivors completely contradictory thought processes that ebb and flow with little predictability. One moment, you are speaking with an intelligent adult, capable of complex, flexible, abstract, and self-decentered thinking. Under sufficient internal or external stress, however, or in situations somehow reminiscent of past abuse, the cognitive integrity of the survivor shatters and becomes locked in rigidly inflexible, self-centered thought patterns, simplistic black and white opinions devoid of nuance and an immutable conviction that the future is destined to be both short and unalterably empty….
If a survivor's cognitive functioning is severely ruptured by sexual abuse, his affective life, the next stop on our tour, is even more impaired. When a young person is sexually traumatized, the hyperarousal of the autonomic nervous system and the body's subsequent attempt to restore order disrupt the brain's neurochemical regulation of emotion. In addition, we are now learning that attachment relationships also impact upon the brain's ability to modulate feelings, with traumatic attachment experiences interfering with effective neuropsychological regulation of affect. The brain of the sexually abused minor thus suffers a double assault. Both the sexual traumas themselves and the betrayal of an attachment relationship assail the flow of affect modulating neurochemicals.
As an adult, the survivor shifts--sometimes quite rapidly--between states of chaotically intense hyperarousal and deadened states of psychic numbing. This inability to modulate emotional arousal often leads to interpersonally inappropriate verbal or motoric actions when the survivor is hyperstimulated, and to similarly inappropriate emotional and psychomotor constriction as the individual moves into psychic numbing. Further, autonomic arousal becomes a generalized reaction to stress in the midst of which the sexual abuse survivor is unable to discern realistically the severity of a perceived threat. Instead of reacting at the actual level of psychological danger, the survivor may engage in seemingly irrational behaviors like temper tantrums or terrified withdrawal. These behaviors do not fit the present day situation but are perfectly complimentary to the now affectively revived earlier trauma.
Because of the damage done by sexual abuse to affective brain functioning, adult survivors often need psychotropic medications for periods of time during recovery. For some, their impairments are sufficiently intractable to require lifelong medication….
We now are almost finished with our psychological tour and are about to enter what can be the most shocking corridor of all. Also partly due to disrupted brain functioning, sexual abuse survivors often display a truly spectacular array of self-destructive behaviors. They slice their arms, thighs, and genitalia with knives, razors, or shards of broken glass. They burn themselves with cigarettes, pull hair from their heads and pubic areas, walk through dark parks alone at night, play chicken with trains at railroad crossings, pick up strangers in bars to have unprotected and anonymous sex, drive recklessly at high speeds, gamble compulsively, and/or further destroy their minds and bodies with alcohol and the whole range of street drugs. Both male and female prostitutes tend to have backgrounds of early sexual abuse. Survivors also are two to three times more likely than adults without abuse histories to make at least one suicide attempt in their lives. Sometimes they die.
Survivor self-abuse performs a myriad of functions… A quick inventory of a survivor's motivations to act self-destructively includes: punishment for the abuse he blames himself for; mastering victimization by taking charge of the timing and execution of harm; self-medication of turbulent affective storms; and unconsciously seeking states of hyperarousal that then trigger the release of brain opiods, providing the survivor with a temporary sense of calm….
As we exit now from our tour of the terrifyingly disorienting psychological House of Horrors, constructed amidst sexual abuse, and maintained by its aftermath, it should be clear that a survivor's recovery is a long, complicated, sometimes treacherous process….
Psychoanalyst Leonard Shengold entitled his book on the effects of childhood sexual abuse, Soul Murder. I do not think that early sexual trauma necessarily has to result in soul murder but it most surely batters and deadens the soul of the young victim and the adult survivor. That this ravaging of souls has been administered by clergy entrusted with a sacred covenant to protect and enliven souls is despicable; it is evil itself.”
“Sexual abuse victims often are young people for whom something or someone is missing. They yearn for an adult who sees them, hears them, understands them, makes time for them, and enjoys their company. Unfortunately, the sexual predator is exquisitely attuned to the emotional and relational needs of the potential victims…. Sexual abusers ingratiate themselves into the lives of their victims, evoking respect, trust and dependency long before the first touch takes place. The confused child or adolescent is frequently so emotionally entwined with his victimizer… that he readily and silently complies with the sexual activities imposed upon him.
There are those who devalue survivors of childhood and, especially adolescent sexual abuse for not disclosing their victimizations when they were occurring. Secrecy, however, is the acknowledged cornerstone of sexual abuse… Sexual abusers may also blame the victim, accusing her of seducing the predator, thus filling the victim with the shame and self-loathing more appropriately experienced by the victimizer. In a more covert covenant of secrecy, the abuser provides the victim with gifts and special privileges that both silence and instill terrible and long-lasting guilt.
In addition many abused minors maintain silence because they accurately perceive that there is no one in their environment who will help them if they disclose…. Finally, children and teenagers do not disclose the sexual abuse secret because they care for the perpetrator. A central cruelty of sexual abuse, in fact, is the perpetrator's trampling of the young person's generously and freely bestowed affection or respect.
It is from this epicenter of betrayed trust that the mind splitting impact of sexual abuse ripples outward…. It is simply too much and the resulting fracture of the victim's mind and experience often leads to a debilitating post-traumatic stress disorder that affects every domain of the victim's functioning and lasts for years and years after the abuse has stopped.
Let me now guide you on a tour through the corridors of a psyche twisted by sexual transgression. It is a trip through a traumatogenically constructed, psychological House of Horrors in which experiences of self and other are grotesquely distorted and terrifying images unexpectedly pop out from seemingly safe places. The visitor lurches from one emotional shock to another in an interior atmosphere of darkness….
When a young person is being abused, the psychological shock is so great that the normal self cannot absorb or make sense of what is happening to it. In a valiant attempt to cope with the overwhelming overstimulation and sense of betrayal literally embodied in sexual trauma, the self splits using the psychic mechanism of dissociation. The normal operation of dissociation allows, for example, each of us to drive ten miles and then "come to" with no memory of the time just past. For the victim of child or adolescent sexual violation, however, dissociation is an exponentially more dramatic process, one that serves as both a blessing and a curse.
On the one hand, by entering into an entirely different state of consciousness while being abused, the victim preserves a functional and safe self who is removed from the trauma and is therefore able to learn, grow, play, and work…. On the other hand, the curse of dissociation condemns the state of self who experienced the abuse to a trapped existence in the inner world of the survivor, a place dominated by terror, impotent but seething rage, and grief for which there literally are no words.
Because trauma impels the brain to process events quickly and in a state of hyperarousal, verbalizing pathways are bypassed. Instead, the sexual violations are encoded by the child and retrieved by the survivor as non-verbal, often highly disorganizing feelings, somatic states, anxieties, recurring nightmares, flashbacks, and sometimes dangerous behaviors.
Often, the adult survivor's life is wracked by unexpected regressions to his victimized self that are triggered by seemingly neutral stimuli. Much as the Vietnam Vet who hits the floor during a thunderstorm… so too the sexual abuse survivor may be triggered into a regression by something or someone reminiscent of his earlier traumas. No longer firmly located in the present, the survivor thinks, feels, experiences his body, and behaves as the victim he once was, badly confusing himself and those around him....
Coexisting with the violated, terrorized, grief stricken victim self, the adult survivor of sexual abuse has within her a state of being that is identified with the perpetrator. Through this unconscious ongoing bond to the predator, the survivor preserves an attachment to the abuser….
There comes a day in every survivor's recovery upon which he fully comprehends what was so cruelly taken from him. Further personal growth and healing requires that the survivor then mourn the childhood or adolescence that never was, the defensively idealized caretakers who never existed, and perhaps most poignantly, the self that could have been had trust, hope, and possibility not been so brutally shattered.
I cannot exaggerate nor can I adequately convey the soul searing pain of this phase of recovery….
Quite understandably, the sexual abuse survivor may act to avoid the ultimate mourning necessary to move on from the abuse and all that was stolen from him. Launching a lawsuit against the perpetrator or against those who abetted the abuser may be one strategy employed to deny unrecoverable loss, while instead pursuing an illusion of full restitution of that which, tragically, never can be restored. No matter the amount of the ensuing financial settlement, a residue of emptiness and lost hope persists. At the core of the survivor's being, the worst has happened yet again; he has been paid off to go away while life goes on relatively untouched for the perpetrator and those who shielded him.
Now let me be absolutely clear. Money can be a little better than nothing…. Many survivors, in fact, resort to lawsuits only after being stonewalled in their quest for more personal reparative gestures. Legal action, in this situation, represents a last ditch effort by the survivor to become an agent in his own life. Further, a lawsuit, when all else has failed, puts into action an understandable demand that the truth be told one way or another. In addition, many survivors need financial assistance for therapy, substance abuse rehabilitation, and educational or vocational training previously unattainable because of post-traumatic stress symptoms plaguing the victims. But money is not nearly enough, no matter how much it is….
Leaving the realm of sexual abuse survivor's organization of self, we enter a related corridor on our tour, one in which we explore typical characteristics of the victim's interpersonal relationships.
A survivor's relationships with other people are hued and shaded by expectations and anxieties forged during their traumatic experiences. Approaching others from within the psychological confines of post-traumatic stress disorder, the trauma survivor exhibits rapidly shifting relational stances, painfully lurching from periods of extremely dependent clinging, to those marked by vicious rage aimed at the same person. Stark terror and tears can switch in an instant to cold aloofness, while warmth and vivacity may turn kaleidoscopically to paranoid suspicion. All this, of course, leads to many chaotically unstable relationships, often alternating with stretches of the loneliest isolation.
Perhaps needless to say, normal sexual functioning is almost impossible for most survivors until well into their recovery. Too often, sex, even with a trusted other, triggers terrifyingly disorganizing flashbacks during which survivors sometimes literally see the face of their abuser superimposed on the visage of their sexual partner and experience dreadful relivings of their sexual traumas. In addition, survivors frequently are disgusted by and ashamed of their own bodies and sexual strivings. Unreasonably blaming the abuse on their own sexuality, they often desperately insist that it never would have happened were it not for their self-perceived horribly seductive bodies and deplorable sexual desires…. Sexual abuse survivors of all genders and sexual orientations are deprived of the right to grow gradually into a mature sexuality and, instead, are forced or seduced into premature sexual encounters they are emotionally ill-equipped to handle. As adults, therefore, these men and women often spin between periods of promiscuous and self-destructive sexual acting out and times of complete sexual shutdown during which, like burn victims, they experience the gentlest physical contact as excruciatingly painful.
Finally, there is a characteristic relational stance assumed by many sexual abuse survivors that is particularly germane to these proceedings. It involves others who did not abuse them but also did not protect them.
If it takes a community to raise a child, it also takes a community to abuse one so that whenever a minor is sexually violated, someone's eyes are closed. Throughout history and in every segment of society, the most common response to the suspicion or even the disclosure of childhood sexual abuse has been self-defensive denial and dissociation. No one finds it easy to stand in the overwhelming and destabilizing reality of sexual abuse. Thus, blindness, deafness, and elective mutism are responses endemic to many confronted by a victimized child, an adult survivor, or a perpetrating adult. To the extent, however, that the sexual victimization of a minor depends upon the silence of adults who knew, suspected, or should have known about the abuse, the burdens of shame and reparation reach beyond the perpetrator…. Zero tolerance must include the silent as well as the predatory.
What is important to recognize…is that adult survivors of sexual abuse frequently are, at least initially, even angrier with adults who failed to protect them than they are with the perpetrator himself….
Now turning down another corridor on our tour of a psyche ravaged by early sexual trauma, we examine the impact of sexual abuse on the cognitive functioning of the victim and survivor. Part of what is overwhelmed during sexual abuse is the young person's ability cognitively to contain, process, and put into words the enormity of the relational betrayal and physical impingement with which he is faced. It is striking and often bewildering to observe in adult survivors completely contradictory thought processes that ebb and flow with little predictability. One moment, you are speaking with an intelligent adult, capable of complex, flexible, abstract, and self-decentered thinking. Under sufficient internal or external stress, however, or in situations somehow reminiscent of past abuse, the cognitive integrity of the survivor shatters and becomes locked in rigidly inflexible, self-centered thought patterns, simplistic black and white opinions devoid of nuance and an immutable conviction that the future is destined to be both short and unalterably empty….
If a survivor's cognitive functioning is severely ruptured by sexual abuse, his affective life, the next stop on our tour, is even more impaired. When a young person is sexually traumatized, the hyperarousal of the autonomic nervous system and the body's subsequent attempt to restore order disrupt the brain's neurochemical regulation of emotion. In addition, we are now learning that attachment relationships also impact upon the brain's ability to modulate feelings, with traumatic attachment experiences interfering with effective neuropsychological regulation of affect. The brain of the sexually abused minor thus suffers a double assault. Both the sexual traumas themselves and the betrayal of an attachment relationship assail the flow of affect modulating neurochemicals.
As an adult, the survivor shifts--sometimes quite rapidly--between states of chaotically intense hyperarousal and deadened states of psychic numbing. This inability to modulate emotional arousal often leads to interpersonally inappropriate verbal or motoric actions when the survivor is hyperstimulated, and to similarly inappropriate emotional and psychomotor constriction as the individual moves into psychic numbing. Further, autonomic arousal becomes a generalized reaction to stress in the midst of which the sexual abuse survivor is unable to discern realistically the severity of a perceived threat. Instead of reacting at the actual level of psychological danger, the survivor may engage in seemingly irrational behaviors like temper tantrums or terrified withdrawal. These behaviors do not fit the present day situation but are perfectly complimentary to the now affectively revived earlier trauma.
Because of the damage done by sexual abuse to affective brain functioning, adult survivors often need psychotropic medications for periods of time during recovery. For some, their impairments are sufficiently intractable to require lifelong medication….
We now are almost finished with our psychological tour and are about to enter what can be the most shocking corridor of all. Also partly due to disrupted brain functioning, sexual abuse survivors often display a truly spectacular array of self-destructive behaviors. They slice their arms, thighs, and genitalia with knives, razors, or shards of broken glass. They burn themselves with cigarettes, pull hair from their heads and pubic areas, walk through dark parks alone at night, play chicken with trains at railroad crossings, pick up strangers in bars to have unprotected and anonymous sex, drive recklessly at high speeds, gamble compulsively, and/or further destroy their minds and bodies with alcohol and the whole range of street drugs. Both male and female prostitutes tend to have backgrounds of early sexual abuse. Survivors also are two to three times more likely than adults without abuse histories to make at least one suicide attempt in their lives. Sometimes they die.
Survivor self-abuse performs a myriad of functions… A quick inventory of a survivor's motivations to act self-destructively includes: punishment for the abuse he blames himself for; mastering victimization by taking charge of the timing and execution of harm; self-medication of turbulent affective storms; and unconsciously seeking states of hyperarousal that then trigger the release of brain opiods, providing the survivor with a temporary sense of calm….
As we exit now from our tour of the terrifyingly disorienting psychological House of Horrors, constructed amidst sexual abuse, and maintained by its aftermath, it should be clear that a survivor's recovery is a long, complicated, sometimes treacherous process….
Psychoanalyst Leonard Shengold entitled his book on the effects of childhood sexual abuse, Soul Murder. I do not think that early sexual trauma necessarily has to result in soul murder but it most surely batters and deadens the soul of the young victim and the adult survivor. That this ravaging of souls has been administered by clergy entrusted with a sacred covenant to protect and enliven souls is despicable; it is evil itself.”
Friday, April 18, 2008
U.S. Baptist kids like Third-World Catholic kids
Southern Baptist kids have as little protection against clergy sex abuse as Catholic kids in Third-World countries. This reality was driven home during the Pope’s visit, when SNAP focused its energy on urging the Pope to establish a worldwide policy on protecting children against clergy sex abuse.
Back in 2002, Catholic canon law deemed that the protective policies adopted by United States bishops were “particular” laws, applicable only in U.S. dioceses and not in other parts of the world. From Thailand to Turkey, from Kenya to Columbia, Catholic children worldwide do not get the sorts of protections that Catholic children in the U.S. now get.
Bishops in the United States created the Office of Child and Youth Protection “to provide a vehicle of accountability and assistance to dioceses” and in an effort to work cooperatively toward ridding the ranks of clergy predators. It was an incomplete effort, and the policies have been inconsistently implemented, but at least it was a start.
Bishops in the rest of the world have done virtually nothing.
Dioceses in the United States now have lay-person review boards to assess whether priests have been ‘credibly accused.” Dioceses in the rest of the world do not. Dioceses in the United States now operate under a “one-strike-and-you’re-out” policy. Dioceses in the rest of the world do not. Dioceses in the United States now provide counseling to those who bring forward reports of clergy sex abuse. Dioceses in the rest of the world typically do not.
It would require a change in Catholic canon law for dioceses worldwide to be able to remove abusive priests from ministry based on “credible accusations” in the way that U.S. dioceses now do. It’s a change that is much needed.
On Wednesday, a Duluth News-Tribune editorial pointed out, without the sort of policies that were adopted by U.S. bishops, “one can only shudder at the possibility for abuse against an impoverished child in an unempowered Third World family.”
Yet, kids in Third World countries are just as needy of protection as kids in the United States.
Likewise, kids in other faith groups are just as needy of protection as Catholic kids. Most other major Protestant groups seem to have recognized this by instituting review board policies of their own, but Southern Baptists still have not.
Sometimes “credibly accused” pedophile priests flee this country for the less-constraining territory of a Catholic diocese abroad that isn’t subject to the sorts of safeguards that U.S. bishops adopted. By comparison, Southern Baptist ministers don’t even have to leave the comforts of the U.S.A. Even when child molestation accusations are substantiated, there is no Southern Baptist policy or procedure for removing the man from ministry or even for warning people in the pews. Typically, an accused Southern Baptist minister can simply move to another state. Or maybe even to another church just down-the-road. No one in Southern Baptist circles is likely to stop him.
Not a single one of the statewide Baptist conventions is even beginning to address the clergy abuse problem in the way that most U.S. Catholic dioceses now do. And we sure haven’t seen much leadership on this from Southern Baptist headquarters in Nashville.
The tragic truth is that Southern Baptist leaders are so far behind the curve on addressing clergy sex abuse that they haven’t yet even seen their way to the starting blocks.
Why shouldn’t Southern Baptist kids have at least the minimal sorts of protection that are now provided for Catholic kids in this country?
Why shouldn’t Southern Baptist leaders institute their own child and youth protection policies and start warning people about “credibly accused” clergy?
Finally, the Pope’s visit serves as a reminder of how far SNAP has come in its work of exposing clergy abuse and cover-ups. SNAP was out there working in the trenches a full twelve years before the 2002 Boston scandal tipped the scales with enough media glare to compel U.S. bishops toward action. Now, in almost every article about the Pope’s visit, there has also been mention of the sex abuse scandal. With extraordinary perseverance, SNAP successfully brought this dire problem to public consciousness.
Sooner or later, if Southern Baptists do not get on board the train of clergy accountability, SNAP will also succeed in mustering sufficient media glare that Southern Baptist leaders will be compelled to action.
Of course, we hope it will happen sooner and that Southern Baptist leaders won’t wait until they are compelled. We hope they will voluntarily get on board, before countless more kids and families are wounded.
But one way or the other, SNAP is in this for the long haul.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Schizophrenic Christianity
Jeri Massi’s new book is called “Schizophrenic Christianity.” You’ll want to read it.Jeri often comments on this blog, and her comments are always insightful. Her book is no exception. It successfully illuminates many aspects of this battle for clergy accountability and shows how Christian fundamentalism allows monstrous men to prey on the flock while still maintaining a mask of goodness.
The book tells the real deal on “big bad Baptist business as usual,” and Jeri tells it out of love for her faith.
She shows how, in this “business,” the value of human life is traded off for the power and image of the religious leaders.
Using case studies of Independent Fundamental Baptist pastors accused or convicted of child molestation, the book reveals how pastors’ young victims become nothing more than a cost of doing business for a religion gone horribly wrong.
The autonomous churches provide a porous structure that abandons accountability in favor of independence and immunity for the leaders. With no system for oversight, wolves are able to infiltrate with ease.
“If a man has charm and natural charisma, it’s harder for a man to get a driver’s license than to become an IFB preacher,” explains Jeri.
At the same time, the highly authoritarian theology of Christian fundamentalism renders the sheep all the more trusting, submissive and vulnerable. They are effectively indoctrinated to become perfect prey.
It’s a sick system designed to depersonalize and ostracize any who question.
With still more insights drawn from psychological research, Jeri points out that one of the defining characteristics of a sociopath is the strong desire for personal autonomy and control over others. What better place for a sociopath to achieve that end than in autonomous churches where pastors carry such prestige and authority that their words are not questioned and where systems of oversight are nonexistent?
It’s a scary picture, but it’s a picture that many of us have seen up close for ourselves. We know it to be true.
Jeri focuses primarily on IFB pastors, but a similar sick system facilitates clergy abuse among Southern Baptists and others who adhere to such a radical form of autonomy that it dispels accountability.
Watch out for your children, folks, ESPECIALLY if they’re in autonomous Baptist churches!
Schizophrenic Christianity is due out on April 28th. I was privileged to be able to see an advance copy – thanks, Jeri! The book will be available on amazon.com.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Congregants stand by their man
In early March, I did a posting about Debbie Vasquez and the abuse she suffered at the hands of Dale “Dickie” Amyx, the pastor of Bolivar Baptist Church in Sanger, Texas. (That’s him in the photo.)A few days ago, “Sharyn” left a comment expressing her support for pastor Amyx. “I will stand by him and his family through thick and thin,” she says.
Because Sharyn’s comment is revealing and few are likely to see it on the old posting, I’m reposting it here.
“How can any of us cast stones on anyone. I believe that none of us know all the facts of this story. I believe yes, the adultery is wrong. Yes, the deceit is wrong. Have anyone of you stopped to think what the family of the accused is going through and what they have gone through before all of this. Ok so some poor judgements were made on his part in his younger years but isn't our walk with God constant learning. Learning from our mistakes and making them right. This is a man who has done nothing but help his community, friends and family for as long as I have known him. To walk with God is to forgive those in our path - that is what we are taught. It is 2008 and who has met someone in this lifetime who has never sinned. We all sin. I believe that when you can look in the mirror and truly believe that you have never sinned, then express your opinion - till then all need to hold their tongues. This is a story that is about a man who not only taught me God's word on Sunday mornings but he has pulled me from darkness many, many times in my life. I will stand by him and his family through thick and thin. As Christians our walk with God is a daily struggle. The devil is around every corner. God's hope is that even though we may sin but learn from that sin. A sin is a sin whether I steal a piece of gum, gossip about my neighbor, or shoo someone in anger. In God's eyes they are all the same and we are taught that all we need to do is ask for forgiveness and it is forgotten. Don't you believe that. I believe that and I believe that he has done that. Let's let everyone please get back to their lives and stop the gossip.”
I’m sure many of you could go through this comment line-by-line, and address the flaws in Sharyn’s thinking. We’ve seen these sorts of minimizations and rationalizations countless times before, haven’t we? All the talk about forgiveness, casting stones, and “sin is sin”… as though any of it could possibly excuse a minister’s sexual abuse of a church kid.
Sharyn’s comment illustrates why Southern Baptists need the resource of a professionally-staffed, independent board to review clergy abuse reports. Congregations CANNOT do this on their own. They are incapable of it. People who love and trust their minister cannot objectively assess whether he has committed sexual abuse.
Even when confronted with extraordinary evidence, congregants typically find ways to mentally minimize the truth. Why? Because they love their minister and because believing in his goodness is fundamental to their own sense of well-being in the world.
What Sharyn sees in Dickie Amyx is “a man who has done nothing but help his community, friends and family for as long as I have known him.” She clings to her memory of “a man who not only taught me God’s word…but…pulled me from darkness many, many times.”
I don’t doubt Sharyn’s memories. Dickie Amyx has probably preached many a good sermon, visited many a sick person in the hospital, stood by the side of many a grieving widow, married many couples, and ministered to others in countless ways. But no amount of good can lessen the harm that is done by the evil of clergy sex abuse.
If a man does good 360 days a year, but molests kids for 5 days a year, do the 360 days outweigh the 5? Of course not. This is not a balance that anyone has the right to strike.
You cannot offset the horrible harm done to a kid when a trusted minister molests her by weighing it against the good that the minister may do in other parts of his life. That scale will not balance. You cannot ignore such terrible evil no matter how much good is stacked up on the other side.
But that is exactly what congregants are inclined to do, and it is why clergy abuse reports must be assessed by persons outside an accused pastor’s congregation.
Finally, for those of you who haven’t followed the Debbie Vasquez story, let me just point out that, contrary to what Sharyn suggests, the evidence against pastor Dickie Amyx went way beyond the level of mere “gossip.” This is a minister who, in sworn testimony, admitted to having sex with Debbie 20 to 40 times but defended his actions by saying “I didn’t have sex with her when she was 16 or under.”
Debbie says the abuse began when she was 14 and that Amyx raped her when she was 15. I believe Debbie, but even if people choose to believe Amyx, it’s wrong to keep a Southern Baptist minister in the pulpit whose only defense against sexual abuse is to say “I didn’t have sex with her when she was 16 or under.” Someone needs to tell those people that. It’s wrong.
As other evidence, Debbie obtained a tape recording of Amyx talking about it and she also has a paternity judgment against Amyx. Yeah… that’s right… she had to go to court to get this so-called man of God, pastor Dickie Amyx, to even support his own kid.
But congregants will almost always find ways to overlook and minimize such evidence. They cannot escape their natural inclination to “stand by their man.” It’s exactly why outsiders must be brought in to assist when allegations of clergy sex abuse are raised.
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