Words of my mouth...

"Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer."

"Recois favorablement les paroles de ma bouche et les sentiments de mon coeur, O Eternel, mon rocher et mon liberateur!"

Today I’m doing 5 short live TV interviews on MSNBC about the Chicago Sun-Times story on First Baptist Church of Romeoville. Here's the video clip for the first one.

How did a reserved and ultra-private person like me ever get to this place? Most days I haven’t a clue. I just hope and pray that my words may be useful and may be of help to someone.

Whenever I speak publicly, it is this prayer that always fills my heart. Before the 20/20 interview, it was such a constant presence in my head that I could scarcely escape it.

I worried constantly. Was I even capable of speaking about this in front of a camera crew? Would I gag on camera? Would I shake uncontrollably? Would I hyperventilate and find myself unable to breathe? Back then, I wasn’t sure.

Even if I was capable of speaking about this for 20/20, would I speak well? Would my words serve a good purpose? Would they help anyone?

I worried until just as I arrived at the interview site. It was at a little chapel in the woods, and as soon as I opened the car door, I heard them. The cedar waxwings were everywhere. They filled the treetops. They filled the sky. They were flitting back and forth. They surrounded me.

I smiled and felt a wave of relief. I knew that all was well.

The cedar waxwings have long been a sort of good harbinger for me. So their presence there at that moment seemed almost magical.

I don’t think I’ll see any cedar waxwings today. It’s not the right time of year. But I still feel their presence in the belief that what I’m doing is right.

However difficult it may be to speak about clergy sex abuse, I am always grateful for the opportunity. I believe the more we speak of it, the less likely this horror will be inflicted on someone else.