Words and deeds

By now, many of you have seen the Southern Baptist Convention’s recently released special report called “Protecting our Children.” Take a look. They put some nice words on paper.

But the question remains: What will they actually DO?

Deeds are what’s needed for the protection of kids against clergy abuse.

If you ask almost anyone, they will tell you that child molestation is terribly wrong. Heck - lots of perpetrators would say that. Words are easy.

But if Southern Baptist leaders want to actually move the ball forward toward reducing clergy child molestation, they must take action to help the victims who already exist.

The only way clergy-predators are exposed is if victims speak up. But victims will speak only when they are psychologically capable of doing so and, for most, only if they feel safe in doing so.

Few clergy abuse victims feel safe in trying to report their perpetrator to his own church, the place where he rules the roost and is the most beloved person in the congregation. Victims are wary and for good reason.

For those who do try to report to the church, what they fear will happen almost invariably does happen. The church circles the wagons around the pastor and effectively stones the victim who brings such unwelcome news. The victim winds up being re-wounded and re-silenced.

This tribal pattern, of protecting the leader and stoning the outsider, occurs with such consistency that it should be considered normal human behavior. The very normalcy of this human reaction is why there must be systems in place to compensate for it. It is why other faith groups have put in place systems for independent review of clergy abuse allegations. But not Southern Baptists.

Most people will tell you that, if they knew about a minister who molested a kid, they would do something about it. But again, words are easy. In the real world, most people don’t actually see a minister molesting a kid and so they don’t know about it with their own eyes. Knowledge isn’t immediately certain and so they stay in their comfort zone of trusting their minister.

The most important question isn’t about what people will do if they know a minister molested a kid. The most important question is about what people will do if they don’t know. Action is needed even when full knowledge is absent.

The average age of a sexual abuse victim is 12. The average age of disclosure is 42.

This means that the typical reporting scenario is a 42 year old who says he was molested by the minister when he was 12. That 42 year old has probably been long-gone from the church and is a stranger to them. If the victim had to track the perpetrator to a new church, or a different state, he may be even more of an outsider.

Do you see the difficulty?

In Southern Baptist circles, who will take responsibility for conscientiously considering these more typical sorts of clergy abuse reports? Who will take responsibility for objectively looking into such allegations with the grave seriousness they deserve? And who will take responsibility for informing people in the pews?

In Southern Baptist circles, the answer is almost invariably, “No one.”

Southern Baptist officials must take action to counteract that reality. Nice words and glossy brochures won’t do the job.

Most child molesters have multiple victims, and many victims never, ever speak of it. That’s a reflection of how great the trauma is. And contrary to what many might think, studies show that the more severe the abuse, the less likely the victim is to disclose it. And older victims, such as teens and preteens, are less likely to disclose than younger ones, who sometimes disclose accidentally.

The best way to prevent more clergy molestation victims is to provide a safe and welcoming place where those already abused may report their perpetrators with some reasonable expectation of being objectively heard. Until that exists, there should be no peace of mind for families in Southern Baptist churches. You won’t find out about the perpetrators unless the victims feel safe in reporting them.

Southern Baptist officials must stop feigning powerlessness and must put in place systems for independent review of clergy abuse allegations.

They must put the safety and well-being of kids first… in words AND deeds.