Harsh words make my point

Did you see the article about my book in the Associated Baptist Press? Did you see the first guy’s comment underneath the review?

Take a deep breath and take a look. Here’s what he says:

“This woman is on nothing more than a vendetta against the SBC because she's still having problems as a result. Her constant desire to get publicity is evidence of her penchant for hateful revenge. Frankly, I suspect her alleged experience really happened, and yet it's still just a story without substantiation. Being Baptist had nothing to do with her experience. It happens is all walks of life and it's unfortunate. The article states that she 'found him on her own.' What more compelling evidence can there be but that this woman still has mental/emotional issues she can’t overcome? Writing a book to keep herself in the victim spotlight maybe. Indeed, the SBC has examined her whining and has done exactly the right thing according to Baptist polity—it has to be left to the local church…. This woman seems to have done little to acquire a spirit of forgiveness. Her story is not unique. Some Baptist pastors do have lapses of judgment in this area. And so do Presbyterians, Lutherans… Catholics and all the others. This woman writing a book to keep attention on herself serve no useful purpose….”

It’s amazing how guys like this wind up illustrating the very things I say in the book. I talk about how clergy abuse survivors so often get ugly words flung at them -- words like “Jezebel, rage-filled, bitter, little Lolita, unforgiving, divisive, tramp, trash, unChristian, anti-Christian, Christian-hater, church-hater, homo, spawn of Satan, trouble-maker, whiner, attention-seeker.” (This Little Light at p. 182) And I talk about how high Southern Baptist leaders have fostered that sort of ugliness with their own harsh rhetoric. Remember how former Southern Baptist president Frank Page said we were “nothing more than opportunistic persons”? Remember how former Southern Baptist president Paige Patterson called us “evil-doers”?

Lo and behold, look at what happens with the first published article about the book. I rest my case.

But just for the heck of it, I’m going to actually address a few of his comments.

“… just a story without substantiation.”

The guy hasn’t read the book. That’s obvious. There’s plenty of substantiation for my story, and for a lot of other Baptist abuse stories as well. The problem is that no one really cares about substantiation other than as a handy term to fling out as an excuse for doing nothing. Baptists’ knee-jerk notion of “no substantiation” is often hogwash. First of all, in most cases, how would they know one way or the other whether substantiation exists since they don’t have any review boards that will bother to conscientiously assess information? Second, in a lot of the cases I hear about, there is indeed substantiation, but no one pays any attention to it. Third, I’ve seen cases in which the minister admitted to conduct that constituted sexual abuse, and STILL no one did anything. Fourth, even if an allegation of clergy child molestation doesn’t have immediately available substantiation, shouldn’t someone in Baptist leadership care enough about even a bare allegation to responsibly look into it and to assess whether substantiation can be found?

“… it’s unfortunate.”

“Unfortunate”? Is it merely “unfortunate” when a kid is molested or raped by a Baptist minister? What an immoral minimizing term for such a serious offense! It’s “unfortunate” when I break my favorite coffee cup. It’s a great deal worse than “unfortunate” when a kid is sexually abused by a minister.

“This woman seems to have done little to acquire a spirit of forgiveness.”

There it is again -- “the F-word.” Need I say more? The survivor in that linked posting said it best of all. “It’s not that victims are against forgiveness. Victims are against forgiveness as the solution to the problem. Because then the problem will go on and on.”

“Her story is not unique.”

He got that one right. My story is far from unique. There are hundreds of us who have been sexually abused by Baptist ministers, and so far, we haven’t seen that very many in this denomination give a hoot. Certainly not the denomination’s leaders.

“Some Baptist pastors do have lapses of judgment in this area.”

“Lapses of judgment”??? Don’t that just beat all? It sounds like some sort of sick joke, doesn’t it?

Question: What do Baptists call clergy child molestation and child rape?
Answer: “Lapses of judgment.”

It’s not very funny, is it?

Question: What do Baptists do about clergy child molestation and child rape?
Answer: Repent and repeat.

I know. That one’s not very funny either, is it? But it’s exactly what happens and will continue to happen until Baptists institute clergy accountability mechanisms similar to what other major faith groups have -- mechanisms like clergy abuse review boards that can relay assessment information to people in the pews.

Guys like this are a good example of why Baptists so desperately need a review board with experts and trained professionals to assess abuse reports. Because when it comes to understanding clergy sex abuse, there are a lot of Bozos in Baptist-land. Except they aren't funny.
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You can leave comments on the Associated Baptist Press story itself if you want. You have to register, but it's easy.

More info about the book is here.

Update 6/11/09: Good Hard Working People recommends "This Little Light".