There are times when so much religiously-fueled vitriol comes my way that I can hardly bear it. When those waves of hate arrive, music is often the best remedy. Thanks to the late great Abbey Lincoln for this breathtakingly beautiful song.
You may vaguely remember me. I actually knew you before these horrendous events were perpetrated upon you. I attended 1st Baptist Farmers Branch up until 1965. That's when we moved to Corpus Christi. I'm Robin's brother-in-law, Dennis. Anyway I find your story simply appalling. The fact that you are harboring hate attests to that. I hope you can find a way to get past that hate. It isn't good for you (breaking news!).
I believed the church staff to be above reproach in all areas of life particularly morality. When I say "believed" I mean it the same way as when I say I believe the sun will rise tomorrow. I remember youth meetings during revivals and whatnot where ten year olds vowed to remain chaste until their weddings.
These are the same people that looked down upon my dad because his doctor prescribed one Scotch Highball every evening. I grew up thinking we were inferior people because my dad liked Prayer Meeting a lot better after he took his "medicine".
You're doing a good thing by getting this information out.If I can help, let me know. I hope you aren't blaming Jesus for this.
Hello Dennis. Yes, I remember you. Thanks for your thoughts and thanks for commenting here.
I find it puzzling that you say I'm "harboring hate," but perhaps you simply misread my column. I'm talking about the "waves of hate" that arrive from others -- i.e., from others who seem to believe that I'm unChristian, antiChristian, and worse, for even speaking of such things. Since I started speaking out about Baptist clergy sex abuse, I've seen more than enough religiously-fueled hate-talk to last a lifetime.
I was confused by Dennis' comment. This part was hard to read as supportive. "Anyway I find your story simply appalling. The fact that you are harboring hate attests to that. I hope you can find a way to get past that hate. It isn't good for you (breaking news!)." Maybe it's difficult to know where you are coming from without going a little deeper into the articles or reading your book. "Getting past" anything traumatic isn't done with a flip of a switch. I never see hate coming from you, Christa. I see it coming at you. Most people would rather you stay quiet and not continue to take a stand against clergy sexual abuse and it's cover up in the Baptist churches.
You are correct I did indeed misunderstand your sentiment. I figured you were talking about waves of hateful emotion that roll over you when you realize what happened to you. That's seems like a reasonable response. I never considered the waves of hate coming from supporters of the absolutely intolerable. That is completely irrational. Please forgive the mistake and know that I support your efforts. I have no time for heretics. How many of these bonehead perps and enablers were wearing WWJD bracelets? The Jesus I know wouldn't take kindly to it. I cannot believe that "Brother Glen" Hayden could know about something like this and not go to the police and prosecute to the fullest extent of the law and farther. He represented the perfect father, the model. Such a betrayal. Obviously your father never knew about this did he? I like to believe that had my sister been the victim and my father found out the only information needing to be passed to SBC would notice of the untimely demise of one particular minister. His new congregation would gather with him at the bottom of White Rock Lake.
I'm very sorry for the madness you have had to endure by doing the right thing and following your convictions. I am also very proud of you.
We are so thankful for what you do, Christa, and that you do not give up in the face of being viciously attacked so often. Also, thank you for Abby Lincoln's meaningful and soulful song.
I know all that is talked about here is very serious and none of it is funny. But, Dennis, what you said, "These are the same people that looked down upon my dad because his doctor prescribed one Scotch Highball every evening. I grew up thinking we were inferior people because my dad liked Prayer Meeting a lot better after he took his "medicine", just really struck me as funny (odd). Was your father on that church staff or just a regular church member? Whatever, it's kind of sad that he needed a drink before going to church.
That says a lot to me though. If I HAD to be part of any Baptist church now, I know I would need a drink before I went to church. Dennis, I'm not criticizing your father. I'm criticizing that supposed place of worship called a church that affected people in that way.
I'm not sure what years you were there, but I bet that church has not changed any. That's one reason I do not believe the SBC as an organization will survive after my generation (I'm 62) is dead and gone.
I really think people are wanting to see the truth preached (God is Love and He loves us unconditionally) and genuine love shown and you just don't see that in most churches.
*Hi Christa I can appreciate and totally understand that you would get a lot of vitriol from fundamentalists Xtians.
My Sweetheart,Vyckie, over at NLQ http://nolongerquivering.com/ was a devout Xtian for 20+ years and a believer in the Quiverfull concept of birth control that says only god should prevent pregnancy if he felt it was needed . . . and she has 7 kids to prove that she was faithful almost unto death for she almost died with more than one of her birthings.
But she's been told over and over that she couldn't really have been a Xtian because if she had been she still would be.
And one of her old friends, a publisher of her articles in the Salt (I think) magazine, didn't even contact Vyckie when it came out that she no longer believed any of what she used to proclaim from the rooftops and through her newspaper, The Nebraska Family Times. This old 'friend' simply proclaimed (in her magazine) that her friend (meaning Vyckie) was dead.
I've gone on too long here but I just wanted to say that when you scare these religious folks bad enough they get pretty nasty in a hurry and sometimes the only thing you have do to scare them is to disagree with them, eh? Then, of course,you're persecuting them and no matter how badly you were treated by any of them you should never, ever disagree with them.
Anyway, all the best in telling it like it is, eh? John
You may not remember me, I'm a survivor who used to comment a lot. I am still around and look at your blog. I took a huge break from thinking about this crap for awhile.
Thanks so much for having the courage and strength to persevere in this environment. My heart is always with you, 100%. Take good care of you, you and every other hurt person on this blog.
Christa,
ReplyDeleteYou may vaguely remember me. I actually knew you before these horrendous events were perpetrated upon you. I attended 1st Baptist Farmers Branch up until 1965. That's when we moved to Corpus Christi. I'm Robin's brother-in-law, Dennis. Anyway I find your story simply appalling. The fact that you are harboring hate attests to that. I hope you can find a way to get past that hate. It isn't good for you (breaking news!).
I believed the church staff to be above reproach in all areas of life particularly morality. When I say "believed" I mean it the same way as when I say I believe the sun will rise tomorrow. I remember youth meetings during revivals and whatnot where ten year olds vowed to remain chaste until their weddings.
These are the same people that looked down upon my dad because his doctor prescribed one Scotch Highball every evening. I grew up thinking we were inferior people because my dad liked Prayer Meeting a lot better after he took his "medicine".
You're doing a good thing by getting this information out.If I can help, let me know. I hope you aren't blaming Jesus for this.
Hello Dennis. Yes, I remember you. Thanks for your thoughts and thanks for commenting here.
ReplyDeleteI find it puzzling that you say I'm "harboring hate," but perhaps you simply misread my column. I'm talking about the "waves of hate" that arrive from others -- i.e., from others who seem to believe that I'm unChristian, antiChristian, and worse, for even speaking of such things. Since I started speaking out about Baptist clergy sex abuse, I've seen more than enough religiously-fueled hate-talk to last a lifetime.
My best wishes to you.
I was confused by Dennis' comment. This part was hard to read as supportive.
ReplyDelete"Anyway I find your story simply appalling. The fact that you are harboring hate attests to that. I hope you can find a way to get past that hate. It isn't good for you (breaking news!)."
Maybe it's difficult to know where you are coming from without going a little deeper into the articles or reading your book.
"Getting past" anything traumatic isn't done with a flip of a switch. I never see hate coming from you, Christa. I see it coming at you. Most people would rather you stay quiet and not continue to take a stand against clergy sexual abuse and it's cover up in the Baptist churches.
Christa,
ReplyDeleteYou are correct I did indeed misunderstand your sentiment. I figured you were talking about waves of hateful emotion that roll over you when you realize what happened to you. That's seems like a reasonable response.
I never considered the waves of hate coming from supporters of the absolutely intolerable. That is completely irrational. Please forgive the mistake and know that I support your efforts. I have no time for heretics. How many of these bonehead perps and enablers were wearing WWJD bracelets? The Jesus I know wouldn't take kindly to it. I cannot believe that "Brother Glen" Hayden could know about something like this and not go to the police and prosecute to the fullest extent of the law and farther. He represented the perfect father, the model. Such a betrayal. Obviously your father never knew about this did he? I like to believe that had my sister been the victim and my father found out the only information needing to be passed to SBC would notice of the untimely demise of one particular minister. His new congregation would gather with him at the bottom of White Rock Lake.
I'm very sorry for the madness you have had to endure by doing the right thing and following your convictions. I am also very proud of you.
We are so thankful for what you do, Christa, and that you do not give up in the face of being viciously attacked so often. Also, thank you for Abby Lincoln's meaningful and soulful song.
ReplyDeleteKaye
I know all that is talked about here is very serious and none of it is funny. But, Dennis, what you said, "These are the same people that looked down upon my dad because his doctor prescribed one Scotch Highball every evening. I grew up thinking we were inferior people because my dad liked Prayer Meeting a lot better after he took his "medicine", just really struck me as funny (odd). Was your father on that church staff or just a regular church member? Whatever, it's kind of sad that he needed a drink before going to church.
ReplyDeleteThat says a lot to me though. If I HAD to be part of any Baptist church now, I know I would need a drink before I went to church. Dennis, I'm not criticizing your father. I'm criticizing that supposed place of worship called a church that affected people in that way.
I'm not sure what years you were there, but I bet that church has not changed any. That's one reason I do not believe the SBC as an organization will survive after my generation (I'm 62) is dead and gone.
I really think people are wanting to see the truth preached (God is Love and He loves us unconditionally) and genuine love shown and you just don't see that in most churches.
*Hi Christa
ReplyDeleteI can appreciate and totally understand that you would get a lot of vitriol from fundamentalists Xtians.
My Sweetheart,Vyckie, over at NLQ http://nolongerquivering.com/ was a devout Xtian for 20+ years and a believer in the Quiverfull concept of birth control that says only god should prevent pregnancy if he felt it was needed . . . and she has 7 kids to prove that she was faithful almost unto death for she almost died with more than one of her birthings.
But she's been told over and over that she couldn't really have been a Xtian because if she had been she still would be.
And one of her old friends, a publisher of her articles in the Salt (I think) magazine, didn't even contact Vyckie when it came out that she no longer believed any of what she used to proclaim from the rooftops and through her newspaper, The Nebraska Family Times. This old 'friend' simply proclaimed (in her magazine) that her friend (meaning Vyckie) was dead.
I've gone on too long here but I just wanted to say that when you scare these religious folks bad enough they get pretty nasty in a hurry and sometimes the only thing you have do to scare them is to disagree with them, eh? Then, of course,you're persecuting them and no matter how badly you were treated by any of them you should never, ever disagree with them.
Anyway, all the best in telling it like it is, eh?
John
Hey Christa,
ReplyDeleteYou may not remember me, I'm a survivor who used to comment a lot. I am still around and look at your blog. I took a huge break from thinking about this crap for awhile.
Thanks so much for having the courage and strength to persevere in this environment. My heart is always with you, 100%. Take good care of you, you and every other hurt person on this blog.
-Michelle