Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Words of my mouth...

"Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer."

"Recois favorablement les paroles de ma bouche et les sentiments de mon coeur, O Eternel, mon rocher et mon liberateur!"

Today I’m doing 5 short live TV interviews on MSNBC about the Chicago Sun-Times story on First Baptist Church of Romeoville. Here's the video clip for the first one.

How did a reserved and ultra-private person like me ever get to this place? Most days I haven’t a clue. I just hope and pray that my words may be useful and may be of help to someone.

Whenever I speak publicly, it is this prayer that always fills my heart. Before the 20/20 interview, it was such a constant presence in my head that I could scarcely escape it.

I worried constantly. Was I even capable of speaking about this in front of a camera crew? Would I gag on camera? Would I shake uncontrollably? Would I hyperventilate and find myself unable to breathe? Back then, I wasn’t sure.

Even if I was capable of speaking about this for 20/20, would I speak well? Would my words serve a good purpose? Would they help anyone?

I worried until just as I arrived at the interview site. It was at a little chapel in the woods, and as soon as I opened the car door, I heard them. The cedar waxwings were everywhere. They filled the treetops. They filled the sky. They were flitting back and forth. They surrounded me.

I smiled and felt a wave of relief. I knew that all was well.

The cedar waxwings have long been a sort of good harbinger for me. So their presence there at that moment seemed almost magical.

I don’t think I’ll see any cedar waxwings today. It’s not the right time of year. But I still feel their presence in the belief that what I’m doing is right.

However difficult it may be to speak about clergy sex abuse, I am always grateful for the opportunity. I believe the more we speak of it, the less likely this horror will be inflicted on someone else.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I saw two of your interviews on MSNBC..and you are doing the absolute right thing by bringing some light to these scummy guys. They are really taking advantage of both their postions and the young people in these churches. Keep up your good work..